Views differ on the detail of our doom. The immediate reversal of the Earth’s magnetic poles, solar flares, epic galactic alignment. Or the Mayan thing, yeah? Or all at once.
Either that or we’ll evolve spontaneously and ascend to the next level of existence. This is the fluffy side of the apocalyptic coin, available in a spectrum of extremity from mild hippiedom to utterly barking. Could be aliens and interdimensional beings appearing in a blaze of rainbow light, briefly posing like a psy-trance flyer for everybody’s FlickR, then laying down some groovy new rules for living. Like, love each other, yeah? And quit killing the planet. Mmmkay?
Others believe 21/12/12 heralds a gentler but very real greater ‘awareness’ or ‘synchronicity’ across the world. As the date is in our collective consciousness, it’s a useful peg on which to hang some collective soul-searching. There’s no denying something of the sort is needed. Our hyper-indebted economic systems, spoiled-child consumption habits and the state of the climate and biodiversity are species-threatening challenges if we don’t radically rethink.
So I try to stay open-minded. But I can’t see myself on the same page as the ‘starseeds’ addressed by galactic guardians the ‘Arcturians’ on this site. Apparently we’re about to Ascend to a 5-dimensional Earth.
“Dec. 21st marks the cosmic tipping point… At this moment of change, we will enter into an eternal space of NO TIME… the Age of Aquarius. Earth is shifting into an eternal NOW… as we rise higher in frequencies to the New 5D Earth…
Yet… there will be people who will not even know that the ascension energy has been downloaded into this planet. What does that tell you?… you have to tune yourself to the frequencies.“
Advice elsewhere on the site for bringing on the Ascension includes ‘if you want to rest, rest. Don’t feel bad about eating a particular food you like’. Top tips for increasing your psychic ability: “surround yourself with pleasing objects, textures and spaces”. There are online love-ins for concepts and nebulous deities. Perhaps not so different from me eating brownies in a red sleeping bag while on Facebook. It is nice and all, but I don’t pretend it’s bringing on anything more than a sugar crash and a case of laptop neck.
Our collective problems are on this 3D Earth. They involve the complex interactions of natural processes, live 3D beings, physical resources and man-made systems. I personally find both the ascension and the apocalypse myths tied to a finite date deeply lazy ways to conceptualise the problems and opportunities we actually face.
If it is the fluffy one though, we’re golden- unless we’re required to believe in Artcturians or respect David Icke. We’re already reflecting on the course of Western civilisation and our own place within it, and trying to expand our knowledge and outlook. Some alien help in the form of a cosmic download would be appreciated but I won’t hold my breath.
But what if it’s the Ball-of-fire/Tsunami/Rapture/Bad Aliens/ Pole flip scenario?
As followers of this blog will know, we set off on our boat much later than intended. Originally, we thought we’d have made it to the South of France by early November. Our plan was to hunt down and interview esoteric survivalists and bemused locals in Bugarach- for various reasons tipped as THE place to survive 2012. But it’d take us too long to get there in Joker now. In any case it appears the journalists descending to cover the story are massively outnumbering credulous refugees. They’ll probably all end up interviewing the same 5 people, who’ll be too busy enjoying the spotlight and doing vox-pops to realise they can’t even get up the mountain:
“Indeed, access to the peak and its underground tunnels will be banned between 19 and 23 December…The roads leading to the village will be screened and, if strong inflows, they will be totally blocked.” -Mayor of Bugarach
What an apocalypse pooper, eh?
So where can we go to be safe? Luckily, Joker is an Etap. Though Etap are no longer making yachts, their marketing has been hijacked by popular doom prophet Patrick Geryl. Etap’s very typical yacht ad has been overlaid with subtitles exhorting Etap owners to abandon dry land on the 21st December. Geryl claims that as Etaps are one of only a few small sailboats to be built with a double foam-filled hull, they are ‘unsinkable’. As all landmasses will be inundated with planet-sized tsunamis when solar flares blow out the magnetic polarity of the globe, Geryl calls for all Etap owners to be ‘out at sea’, gathering to wait out the apocalypse to ensure the survival of the species. Etap are now hosting this adapted video on their website.
So we figured we’d hedge our bets. As it happens Friday’s supposed to be a nice day, so we’re heading out of the marina for a bit. Perhaps we really will be swept aloft for the ride of our lives over the cracked and gushing wreck of the world, only to found tiny colonies on new landmasses with a few weird Etap owners and mountain dwellers. But if it stays nice, we’ll think good thoughts. In case the starseeds need help getting to the fifth dimension.
Good luck, and STAY ALIVE!